Auto-Eroticism
And The Ugly Truth of Sexual Programming
Let’s talk about something most men were never taught to understand - Our erotic programming
We grow up thinking our sexuality is natural, when, largely, it’s actually shaped, often distorted by culture. Patriarchy, media porn, locker room talk, or generational trauma - As my good friend said to me recently. “I asked my father why he didn’t talk to me about sex, and he told me it’s because his father never talked to him about sex either.”
My father used to tell me that being a good lover was a personal responsibility.
He talked about auto-eroticism — learning to control your arousal, your imagination, your orgasm. Some of his advice was helpful… some of it was misguided. But here is one healthy seed it planted……
Sex is a practice, not just an impulse.
Men are visual creatures — nothing wrong with that!
The issue is what we’ve been trained to be visual about.
Fast-forward to today. We’re facing an epidemic of unhealthy sexual conditioning
Men desiring unrealistic bodies that rarely exist
Women surgically altering themselves to fit a toxic image of beauty
Men thinking of sex in terms of their own pleasure, absent of their partners
Women believing that sex is mostly about pleasing their partner, stunting their own sexual energy
AI is now furthering our deluded ideas of beauty and sex with blatantly fake videos and photoshopped images that no human body could replicate. We’re not just comparing our partners to unrealistic women anymore — we’re comparing them to digitally engineered hallucinations.
If you’ve ever felt sexually incompatible with someone you love…
You’re not alone.
Some of that “incompatibility” isn’t about the partner — it’s about the programming.